After I was done with college and had a job, things did get much better for me. I was going door to door and had much better results than the other “friends.” Interestingly, I met a Christian who actually defended his faith in the door to door ministry. It was a thought provoking experience. I had never met anyone like him in my life. During that time, I had 2 Bible studies. I did not have time for anything else in the week because my husband was so demanding of me. I was taken to the back room for council quite a few times because my service time was so low. It was about 6 hours a month. I was so hurt by that because I was studying with 2 girls and doing some good when many of the pioneers could not even say that they had two Bible studies. This focus on hours and placements and lack of concern for actual people yet again hurt me.
I finally decided that I could not bear to stay with my husband any longer. June 2005, I finally left him. I went to the elders for counseling. They told me that I should have tried to stay because now I was setting both of us up for sin. He was abusive to me. I did not care if I set him up for sin or not. The elder’s reaction in the meeting shocked both my mother and I. She was so proud of me and the fact that the elders would say such things upset her tremendously.
I decided at that point that I was not going to be single for the rest of my life. I did not care if I had to spend the rest of eternity in the silent grave. I was going to live a happy life now. I made the decision to leave Jehovah’s Witnesses.
I quit going to the meetings except now and then. I wanted to just fade away. I knew I would be disfellowshipped when I remarried at some point but I wanted to put that off. I lived a completely reckless life at that point. I did whatever I pleased. I did all sorts of immoral things. I hid it all from my parents and the congregation. I was not going to the meetings but I did not want to be shunned so I lied.
I had done everything else wrong in the world so I decided to talk to apostates. I began to tell them my story. I met a lady named Mary. Mary changed my life. She told me that the way they had been treating me was wrong. She told me that God still loved me and wanted me to be one of his children. She told me that eternal life was a free gift and I could stop working for it. Mary promised me that if I would give my life over to Him that he would take care of me. It took a while for all of that to sink in.
I began serious research day and night. Hours and hours I studied the scriptures with a goal to find the truth. I learned then why they did not want you to go to college. I had learned how to think critically and could see that their logic made no rational sense. It was amazing what I found in my studies. The veil was gone and I could see the real truth. The first thing that I realized was that I was going to heaven. I had doubts during a lot of my early days but I kept saying to myself, “But I am sure that they are wrong because the Bible says I’m going to heaven.” I realized that my faith and belief in the Lord was the most important thing and that he would supply all that I needed if I would just trust him. My relationship with God took on a whole knew meaning.
December 2005 I was called for a judicial committee meeting. I thought it was because I had asked one too many questions. I found out that they knew about something that had happened seven years prior. They had been digging around in my past and found out about something. I had confessed this sin to them when I was young and had been put on private reproof for it. They were saying that they found out more about it that I withheld from them so they would probably disfellowship me for withholding the details from them.
I cried. I had no idea what to do. My father came to tell me goodbye. My mother came to tell me goodbye. I called many of those I knew who were former Jehovah’s Witnesses and now Christians. They helped me to make a decision about what to do. I remember Frankie telling me that I had to make a decision. I had to stand for Jesus and make a decision to follow him and depend on him or else to give in to the Witnesses. I followed her advice. I prayed to receive Christ into my life and I decided what I had to do. That was the moment that my life began to transform.
I walked into the room of the judicial committee. They asked me to describe the details of the sin to them. I told them that God had already forgiven me seven years prior and I did not have to justify myself to them. I added that I no longer wished to be one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. They asked me to leave the room so they could talk. I waited. When it was time, they called me back. They said that they wanted me to make a donation for $1282.00 for some work they had “volunteered” to do after the Katrina disaster to my great grandmother’s house in which I was living. For some reason I gave them the money. They asked me to sign a piece of paper saying that I no longer wished to be one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. It was over.
My family asked me to leave my house. I had to move. I found a new place to live. I found a distant family member who was also an apostate and we were able to talk and he helped me emotionally. He helped me grow into a Christian. I found a church home and I am busy there. It has been less than a year since my disassociation from the Watchtower Society. It has been the best year of my life. I can hardly wait to see where God takes me. It has been a ride of joy just so far despite the losses.
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